SCAMMERS

This is probably the way, NOT TO DO IT, but, not having experienced anything like this before, I had to learn. And learn, I did.

Don't let this happen to you.

I had read of similar incidents regarding telephone fraud before but in them there was always a clue right from the get-go that it was fraudulent and easy to pick up on. However, as unsavory scammers go, they all learn more, the more they play the game.

I was at work one day and had my hands full when I heard my cellphone chirp (Chirp? Maybe I had it on Guitar mode, or Morse Code). It was strange in that it rang just once and went immediately to message. I thumbed the message button and got a partial recording: "You can arrange to have your counsel meet with you prior to appearing before the magistrate but all we can say for the time being is, Good luck."

Now I was a bit unnerved at hearing this. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of trouble I was in. I knew I wasn't completely flush with what I owed the federal government but I had kept in touch through the phone and was making sizeable monthly payments so I was sure that I wasn't in trouble with them. What else could it be?

They did leave me a number to call, so I went ahead and called back. The party at the other end told me that they were from the IRS and that I was about to be arrested and jailed for tax evasion. In fact authorities were on their way to pick me up at this very moment.

Now I've been phoned by government agencies, and even collection agencies in the past but they usually don't tell me that I'm about to be slapped into matching silver bracelets and hauled away to the pokey. They're usually more interested in your paying your bill and incarceration makes that next to impossible. So this was somewhat of a surprise. But it also hit me at a bad time and I really didn't have a chance to think clearly so I went along with the guy. He told me that I would be arrested within the hour but if I acted quickly I could avoid all the trouble and extra court costs. I was listening and told the man that I was willing to co-operate.

I was put on hold then another man came on the line. He identified himself with a typically Anglo-Saxon name which seemed a bit strange as he had a noticeable accent. I might add that the first one spoke with an accent as well. I first thought East Indian, which wouldn't surprise me if he was working for the government but then, I've talked to tech support for various products and services and knew full well that those people were East Indian and talked different. I began to think that this guy was more Nigerian.

Well, he told me I had to drop everything and run to the bank to get the money. I began to relax a little and started to think that these guys aren't who they say they are. In fact the more we talked, the more convinced I became that they were attempting to scam me. Being a trifle adventuresome and somewhat tenacious I decided to ride this out a little further and see what was going on.

I told the guy that the bank was closed for the day in the town where I worked and I would have to drive thirty miles down the road to see the main branch of the bank. I then informed the guy that my vehicle was low on fuel and I would have to fill up before I left. The man told me that he would allow me to do that but I was NOT to hang up the phone and I was to run a voice check every five minutes. I did that, and about fifteen minutes later I was on the road.

My curiosity was rising and I realized that this guy hadn't mentioned my name or anything else. I asked him to tell me my social security number, as any call allegedly from the IRS, they always confirm your identification; he immediately snapped back that he wasn't allowed to say it over the phone, but he assured me that all of my information was open in front of him. That only helped convince me a little more that this was a scam.

I made it to the city and drove immediately to the bank. I told the man that I was there and was going inside. He told me to go to the automatic banking machine and get the cash. I responded that I would have to talk to a banking officer because I could not take $4800.00 from the ATM in one lump sum and that I would have to have an official do that. The man told me to get the cash, but under no circumstances was I to tell the officer what I needed it for. He also said that I could withdraw a lesser amount if that worked better.

That was all I needed to convince me that I was being scammed; he might as well have confirmed it right then and there. I maybe should've just hung up and let it go but I decided to have some fun with the guy. I found the staff actually leaving the building for the day but I did get hold of one individual who politely told me that I would have to come back in the morning. I kept the phone near so the scammer could hear that. But the official added that the branch on the south side of the city was open late and they could help me if it was an emergency.

I got back in the car and drove off but didn't head directly for the bank. I first stopped at the club cigar store and bought an iced tea and the latest issue of my favorite magazine. Of course I had to chat with the owner for a couple of minutes. Back in the car I spoke to the man who was getting quite impatient by then. After all we had been on the phone for over an hour. He told me to speed up or he was sending the police if I didn't co-operate. I told him that I was doing the best I could and to relax because I was negotiating afternoon rush hour traffic.

I made it to the bank on the south side of the city and walked in, cellphone in hand and the number visible. The receptionist actually knew me as on several occasions before, my wife and I were hired by the bank to do some photography for some special events. I told her that I was sure I was being scammed and showed her the number which she immediately checked out and confirmed that it was fraudulent. I also had her access my accounts and confirmed that there were no problems with any of them.

I thanked her and went back to the car. This time I drove directly to the police station. I went up to the desk sergeant and told him what was happening. He smiled and told me that he'd received a similar call just the weekend before, and just to hang up.

Which I did.

Having consumed a fair quantity of my beverage by then I was seized by the urge to use the facilities so I excused myself and headed for the bathroom. I was just finishing up there when the phone rang. My caller ID showed the number of the police station which rather surprised me. I answered and a very angry man with a heavy accent shouted: "We are the police and we are arresting you for tax evasion!" I responded with: "I'm already at the police station."

"I want to talk to the arresting officer--NOW!"

"Sure. Right away. But I'm in the head, taking a whiz right now; I'll put him on the phone as soon as I'm finished."

I went back out to the desk and told the sergeant that the goons had called me back--on the police line. He raised his eyebrows and told me that that particular line was the general police inquiries line. He took the phone and identified himself but the caller immediately hung up.

The sergeant immediately called the same number and got the switchboard operator who told him that no calls had gone past her desk. She checked my name on the computer and couldn't find any outstanding warrants, thus completely clearing me of most of my wrongdoings.

Anyways, the sergeant told me that the police had investigated a number of complaints pertaining to those claiming to be part of the IRS. He added that the typical victims are usually older and that one had been defrauded of $85,000.00 before his kids stepped in and put a stop to it. He said that I would likely be instructed to take the cash and deposit it in an account in another bank or wire it through the local wire service. Whatever way I did it, the money would've evaporated.

I was lucky. In the following months, I've been phoned twice and received the same recorded message that included the final wish for Good Luck. My wife has been phoned too but she contacted the proper agency and confirmed with them that there was no trouble. I have to say that initially, I was somewhat shaken up but I'm forever thankful that I had my wits about me and was able to avert a disaster. I really feel sorry for those poor souls who didn't fare out so well...